ALIVE, KICKING AND EARSPLITTING!
30TH ANNIVERSARY BEST OF
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LYRICS
BALLAD OF THE BURBS
We wear big ‘ol shorts, although we look like dorks
To be cool the California way
And every Saturday night we take daddies car
But come home before the break of day
We never want for anything
We’ve never been hungry and we’ve never been cold
We talk down to our fathers
But we wanna be like them when we get old
We’re wild boys from the suburbs and no one better push us around
Wild boys from the suburbs but we’ve never been downtown
And in the summertime we get a job that’s fine
Yeah, one where we can work on a tan
And the suburbian girls with fake diamonds and pearls
Smell money when they pick out a man
Author & Composer: Craig Hutchins, Michael Hutchins
CATHARSIS
I’m done with you and your bitchy ways
Your bulls**t left me in a daze
I was so sad I became a bore
Because of you, you f**king ?????!
F**k you, F**k it, F**k off
Now you’re gone and I’m all alone
I won’t sit pining by the phone
Your stench has gone away
And it’s never coming back, no way!
Take my money, take your junk
Eat my s**t you smelly ????!
Author & Composer: Craig Hutchins, Michael Hutchins
ONE-EYED LOVER
Glittering, glowing, always knowing
She calls me from the corner of the room
Light of my life, up through the night
If you keep calling, hey I’ll be there soon
I can’t get up I’m frozen there
All I do is sit and stare
It’s not a drug just a flickering light
My one-eyed lover and me in the night
Seeker of knowledge, I slump at the alter
A bag of tortillas and a bowlful of salsa
Don’t call me tonight, I’m not by the phone
There’s something good on, I’m enthralled at home
Like that old babe on Star Trek who craved all the salt
You suck my mighty brain power, volts from the vault
Total enrichment, can you relate?
I see what I missed when I rerun the tape
I’ve met so many people through you my dear
You empty my mind and fill up my years
Author & Composer: Craig Hutchins, Michael Hutchins
PERMANENT POUT
She’s a big girl, and she uses it well
She’s got a permanent pout, made out of silicone gel
Long strong legs, big green eyes
I won’t plead but baby please
If she looks your way, one thing she’ll say
You think you got it Mr. Savoir Fair?
Don’t disappoint me, don’t disappoint me
Cause I won’t ask twice
She’s got a little red sports car
With a big humping engine
She’s got a 427
With the nitrous injection
Shake those hips, purse those lips
There’s lots of that to go around
Author: Craig Hutchins, Michael Hutchins
ROCK 'A' FELLER
Got myself a job I can’t stand
I’m getting up today to go at it again
Got myself a car I can’t afford
Only 48 payments till it’s paid up in full
The only way to get rich is to be born that way
I think I must have got switched on my birthday
I believe I was born a rock ‘a’ feller
To live in a house on a hill with a big wine cellar
Living like this can be a real pain
I’ve got nothing to report for capital gains
Now I don’t like to complain about the way I live
I’m tired of take I’d like to give give give
Living like this I’m missing all the fun
Come on rock-a-daddy I’m your long-lost son
The only way to get rich is to be born that way
I think I must have got switched on my birthday
I believe I was born a rock ‘a’ feller
To live in a house on a hill with a big wine cellar
Living like this can be a real pain
I’ve got nothing to report for capital gains
Author: Craig Hutchins
Composer: Michael Hutchins
DEATH BUZZER
Death Buzzer was a bug, oh yeah a big bug
He was havin’ lots of fun underneath my rug
That was until the day that he drew my blood
And I killed that mother good
Death Buzzer was so big and he was not afraid
Of the toxic bomb and the stick it gave
His body exoskeletal of structure made
And I squished that mother good
Death Buzzer, Death Buzzer, yeah you’re one tough customer
But now you’re in a box underneath my socks
A Jolly Rodger on top your body rots
Death Buzzer hunkered down for the coup de gras
Of love from human being to dipteral
Paper rolled in a mace to smash in his face
A blob of goopy guts rolled upon the page
Author & Composer: Michael Hutchins
HOT LITTLE PHONE
Holding court on her throne
Queen in a corner all alone
Messages sent to be shown
I want your hot little phone
I want your hot little phone
Gonna give it a tone
and make it all my own
Sadly you leave me flat
Still you think you’re all that
Just stay out of my zone
I want your hot little phone
Do you think its about you?
How do I explain?
Its not your flame… that I burn for…
You give me look of disdain
Believe me I feel no pain
Leavin’ me cold as stone
Just feel your hot little phone
Author & Composer: Craig Hutchins, Michael Hutchins
MONKEY THAT GOT TOO SMART
In the beginning, didn’t worry about the rent
Didn’t worry about the dollars that your girlfriend spent
You just wandered around the forest, eating nuts and that And waiting to get devoured by some jungle cat
You see a monkey on the TV and you think that it’s bizarre
You’re just a four-foot monkey that got a bit too smart
A monkey had an idea and he turned it into beer
Another thought of fire and another of a spear
Yeah, we are all superior to the guys left in the trees
Who didn’t learn to clean a pool or rake up fallen leaves
You see a monkey in the zoo and you make faces through the bars
You’re just a four-foot monkey that learned to drive a car
Someday we’ll build a spaceship to visit other worlds
Or the perfect scented potion to make your straight hair curl
You see a monkey on the TV doing tricks just like a jerk
You’re just a four-foot monkey that wears a shirt to work
We’re all, monkeys that got too smart
Author & Composer: Craig Hutchins, Michael Hutchins
RIGHT DWIGHT
Tonight, tonight, I am invincible
Tonight, tonight, I am an imbecile
Twist your knobs, I’ll work this scene
Drink your poison, I get away clean
You sit down now because I am God
Line up all in my tracks you trod
Let me get close so you can see my machine
Show you what I got and then I get away clean
Then I get away, get away, get away…… clean
C’mon, c’mon I got so much to give
C’mon, c’mon off key we gotta live
Dirty girls gonna pay my way
Don’t pay my own man, I’m here to play
Pay attention, take my direction
Hit the black list never play my selection
Author: Craig Hutchins
Composer: Michael Hutchins
GOLD MINE
I ain’t no smarter than the average guy
But what you selling I ain’t going to buy
You’re all wrapped up with polish and paint
But underneath you know it’s a feint
You got a gold mine in your walk
You got a gold mine in your talk
You’ve been digging gold but you’ve never been told
You got a gold mine, a gold mine
Maybe sometime when I’m feeling weak
I may consider the ultimate treat
Must keep my wits and not lose sight
Betting on you is worse than losing at dice
You don’t need me with your sucker brigade
Waiting like fish in your net everyday
Say I’m a loser when your spell falls short
I’ll keep my gold for the genuine sort
Gold mine walk-a-tee-walk
Gold mine talk-a-tee-talk
Gold mine walk-a-tee-walk
Gold mine talk-a-tee-talk
Author: Craig Hutchins
Composer: Michael Hutchins, April Hutchins
GOT MY EYE ON YOU
Don’t be alarmed, nothing to say
Call me December, I call you May
Some can talk, they don’t understand
I got urges and do what I can
Now you’re in there, can’t get you out of my head
It’s not obsession, it’s deeper than dread
Sorry Sweet Thing if I don’t look my best
Thinking about you so much I can’t get any rest
Watch and wait, my aim is true
Outside your window hidden from view
In the night and the whole day through
Got my eye, got my eye on you
How to approach you is the question you see
Got to get to know you appropriately
I do my best to maintain control
Don’t want you screaming till I got you alone
Author: Craig Hutchins
Composer: April Hutchins
STEP ON MY FACE WALTZ
Mister Wall Flower
At the side of the room
The music’s got power
Feet wanna move to the tune
Then you’re up there
Hopping to the Pistols with the gang
Here comes the scare
Head hits the floor with a bang
Action in store as you’re kissing the floor
And a loud mouthed lout with a beer and a pout says..
Do the step on my face, step on my face, step on my face… Waltz!
Step on my face, step on my face, step on my face… Waltz!
Lost in the crowd
A boot mark on your face
The dancing lout is screaming loud
Pogo crashing bout the place
In flies a guy
Looking like Charlie Manson
Makes the Superman try
To save you from further trouncing
Author: Craig Hutchins
Composer: April Hutchins, Michael Hutchins, Craig Hutchins
OUR LOVE TASTES LIKE SOAP
Every time I speak your name I want to wash out my mouth
The thoughts you fill my head with give me reason to doubt
You’re evil and believe you’ll always get what you want
I should try to run and hide but I’m weak and I won’t
Our love tastes like soap
But I’m learning to cope
I got to try and figure why
I am your prostrated dope
In the beginning I got sold on a Rolls Royce Shadow
But now I see I’m riding shotgun in a ’72 Pinto
My momma always told me “son do not believe the hype”
But when I looked under the hood I was blinded by the sight
We both know you’re bad bad bad but its not your fault
I would know what I was doing if I was worth my salt
So now looking squeaky clean and smile like a phoney
But you’re happy riding round on your one trick pony
Life’s messy, clean it up!
Living large and filling your cup
Manly yes, but I like it too
Ask yourself what would Mr. Clean do?
Our love tastes like soap
But I’m learning to cope
I got to try and figure why
I am your prostrated dope
Author: Craig Hutchins
Composer: Michael Hutchins, April Hutchins, Stuart Asprey
PIANOS ON ACID
The best laid plans of modern man
Helping out friends, you do what you can
But moving a piano you should not try
When you’re the only one who isn’t high
Oh woah woah I can’t get behind it
No no no I didn’t lose my mind yet
One, two, three its clear to see
All that weight coming down on me
Knock knock knock I know something sup
Look into your eyes says somebody’s fucked-up
All dressed in black though its hot as hell
Voice inside my head says this will not end well
So what’s the story is what I want to know
You tell me, “Movin’ pianos on acid is the way to go…
Not so much that it freaks you out…
Just enough to keep an edge is what I’m talkin’ bout!”
Here we go, the gangs all here
Movin’ down stairs I’m asked to bring up the rear
Pardon me my momma didn’t raise no dope
I can see you all too stoned to trust with a rope
Author: Craig Hutchins
Composer: Michael Hutchins, April Hutchins, Stuart Asprey, Daniel Stecko
SUPERZERO
You yeah
Hoping I’ll come through yeah
I got a superpower
I’m gonna let you down
True yeah
There’s nothing you can do yeah
In the darkest hour
I’m gonna let you down
Wait yeah
And put your trust in fate yeah
Like a speeding bullet
I’m gonna let you down
Try yeah
Then question why yeah
I got a superpower
Telling you up front you’re gonna take some lumps
Worse than radioactive, a most willing captive
My superpower
I’m gonna let you down
Author: Craig Hutchins
Composer: Michael Hutchins, April Hutchins, Stuart Asprey